It occurs that, with the passing of time, along with the struggles and challenges which happen in our lives, our character make-up and the core of some behaviors, unquestionably change within us. In the course of a decade or two, we generally observe that we are often not the same person we used to be. It can be positive change, but very often we, or others around us, find that we are adversely affected, and notice that the changes don't stay in keeping with our ideal selves.
Rocky marriares, difficulty in child rearing, vocational struggles, lean times, addictions, and many more take their tolls. It seems as tho' these may not be happy realizations, but the awareness, the very notation to the fact that it has taken place, is oftentimes, a very good start.
Myself, I've found that as I near the culmination of a particular difficult phase, I begin to realize my fatigue; seeing (with clarity) the effects upon my temperment, and sometimes the absolute exhaustion, spiritual, mental and physical. It seems to be at these times, when all that can be done is rest, retreat (and sometimes cease to care), that time to reflect upon the effects, brings forth a positive result....
Do you believe in – or – can you distinguish between – right and wrong? Darkness and light? If you do, if you can – you are bestowed the knowledge of Good and Evil that was passed onto your species from the beginning. By – or through – the Creator of your species – and every other that inhabits this world or others. A species we are told, mirrors (in image) that of this same Creator. If we doubt the merit of creator, look around the vastness of design in all of nature, we ourselves or even universe beyond. And, look upon our own insatiable nature to build, write, make and construct things.
However, the knowledge granted, whether asked for or not, is there; and with it comes an unfortunate side effect – that is, the sins of Man. And if we doubt that, consider our bent (from childhood) to cheat, lie, steal, hurt, sometimes kill or maim. To speak ill of others, to obsess and possess all manner of things, simply to please ourselves, or gain the acknowledgement of others. (Luckily, these are not true of all; simply, most of us can relate). As children, it manifests...
Where does the anger we sometimes feel over losses - deaths, betrayals, loves lost, etc. come from? Moreover, to whom are we often angry at? God himself oftentimes, no? Why him? Do we hold a certain expectation of him (if we believe in his existence in the first place) because of our preception of who he’s supposed to be?
Whether we be churched or un-churched, believers or non-believers - any one who at least acknowledges a higher power would certainly attach a certain responsibility to this creator for his creations, yes? And when this expectation, whether appropriate or not, is not met in areas such as this, we are let down in some sense or another. Let downs turn to disappointment; and dissapointment then to depression or anger.
This can be, for the true seeker, a time of opportunity to try and discover God more. Every characterisic which we carry are reflections of Him; if we ascribe to the idea that we are ‘created in His image.’ If we feel real anger or betrayal toward God for things that happen to us (are taken from us), then we need to explore what about our expectation(s) warrants an emotional response of...
Today we all returned together, to meet as a family group once more. Without our fearless leader, who takes well-earned R & R, we fended for ourselves, typically sharing stories, fears, turmoils and circumstances, as we do so well.
Its always such a blessing to be a part of it; to have the chance to imprint on others, and to be equally imprinted upon by the same. We experience such an array of personalities and spirits amongst ourselves - truly having an impact on one another, which we take with us thru our journey throughout the course of the week.
The timing seemed intriguing as well, in that, for two weeks we'd not seen our friends; some having retreated, some unable to. But regardless, there was a freshness somehow - akin to having missed each other, and excited once more, to share.